My Personal Battle
While I don’t deal with depression, and 99% of the time, my emotional status is peaceful and level, I do battle anxiety on occasion and it always comes in the form of negative thoughts, and mostly at night. I say negative thoughts, but really, they resemble voices whispering in my ear saying things like:
“You shouldn’t have said that…”
“You totally hurt their feelings when you did that…”
“They think you’re lying…”
“How can you call yourself a Christian…”
“You failed at that…”
“You’re not going to make it…”
“You’re always going to be remembered for that mistake…”
And on and on it goes like a bad song stuck on repeat.
Over the years, these negative thoughts have persistently tried to hijack my life. At first, I would try to occupy my mind and displace them. My favorite tool was counting. I counted everything—road signs, trees, stars, specks on my ceiling, threads in my curtains, and eventually, even my breaths. Before I knew it, though, I was caught in a snare of obsessive counting, and the voices just chimed in and told me I would be forever stuck there. But not so, because I am nothing less than an overcomer.
It wasn’t until my late 20s early 30s that I began to find a “cure” for the negative thoughts and to put the counting to rest. Although my revelation was birthed then, it took many years for me to come to a full understanding. Now, I overcome the negative thoughts with a two-pronged approach: B vitamins and scripture.
B Vitamins
When my daughter was about five years old, she began having horrible nightmares. Despite our intense prayers, she wasn’t getting any relief. (Looking back now, I realize that we were only praying for God to remove them instead of asking for wisdom and knowledge in dealing with them. Once our prayers changed, our answer manifested almost immediately.) I stumbled across a testimony on the internet of how parents gave B vitamins to their child and the nightmares stopped. My husband and I figured it couldn’t hurt to try, so we gave our daughter some the next night. No nightmares! Since then throughout her childhood, each time the nightmares would return, we administered a couple weeks of B vitamins, and it worked every time.
After seeing the effect B vitamins had on my daughter’s intermittent nighttime anxiety, I began to dabble with B vitamins in my own life. Sure enough, every time a season of anxiety perched upon me, I was able to shoo it away with a couple weeks of treatment. At this point, you may be asking why I didn’t stay on B vitamins all the time. It’s because I was using mega doses, and after a couple weeks, I would begin to exhibit signs of vitamin overdose and toxicity. It’s taken me several years to find a complex B vitamin that has just the right mixture and amounts of vitamins that my body needs.
Since that initial find of the internet testimony several years ago, I have noticed an increase in the amount of research around the relationship of B vitamins and mental health. Research continues to show that not only can B vitamin supplements enhance mental health, but a deficiency of B vitamins in the body can produce symptoms of irritability, mental confusion, anxiety, depression, and even schizophrenia. In addition, some research has shown that B vitamins may protect against Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, and other similar disorders. Now, as you know in these days, medical information is never complete without a disclaimer lest you risk being sued, so here’s mine: While B vitamins work for me, consult your family doctor and/or pharmacists before taking any dietary supplement.
Scripture
B vitamins help with the physical manifestation of anxiety in my body brought on by organic causes; however, there is a spiritual component that must be dealt with, too. For example, when I speak before a crowd or try to be a witness for the Lord, the enemy will send his minions to whisper in my ear and plant a thought. These sorts of assaults are not physical ones that can be defeated with vitamins; they are spiritual battles that must be waged with spiritual weapons.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NIV)
The Bible says that our enemy accuses us day and night, but we can triumph over him. While the Bible is loaded with powerful weapons to overcome the enemy regardless of the attack, the two scriptures I primarily use against negative thoughts are found in 2 Timothy 1:7 and Philippians 4:8.
The very moment I begin to hear the negative thoughts, I say these eight words: “I have power, love, and a sound mind.” If I begin to hear the thoughts again, I repeat. Most times I get by with saying it only once. Whereas before when I used to lie in the bed for hours with negative thoughts running rampant through my mind, I can now get to sleep within five minutes. I use 2 Timothy 1:7 to annihilate any seeds deposited by the enemy in my mind. I shared this tactic with my husband, and it works for him, too. He told me a couple days ago that he was having trouble sleeping and used this scripture to bring immediate peace to his mind and then sleep to his body.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)
Once I take captive the negative thought and expel it from my mind, I fill the void with the things listed in Philippians 4:8:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV)
What Really Counts
Every now and then, I still soothe myself by counting. It’s used more like a gentle rocking, though, instead of like fists flying aimlessly in the air as though pummeling a dark cloud above my head.
The Bible says that the only thing that really counts is faith expressing itself through love. God showed us the ultimate love by sending His son to die for our sins, and we don’t have to live with condemnation or fear anymore.
Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord will never count against them. (Romans 4:8 NIV)
As for me—I count myself as an overcomer and use the two weapons of B vitamins and scripture when battling anxiety and negative thoughts.
I know there is a ton of advice out there about mental health, and this is but a miniscule piece. If you’ve tried everything and still can’t get relief, please seek help and remember that you are not alone. If you have thoughts about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Be counted among the living and not the dead.
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